nmdmatt // libérerMédias

So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. In fact the last time I did was when I was able to get my old laptop running on linux. And I haven’t even touched that computer since.

Things have been kind of hectic, paying bills, running around. And it’s also been sort of amazing.

For the longest time there was two main groups in the youth of the punk scene: northsiders and southsiders. We never really hung out in a group much, was just the normal show shit, once in a while run in, etc etc.

Well now it’s changed, and everyone’s been hanging out all the time. Our little group that used to be roughly 20 regulars has doubled. Almost all of the drama has died, and finally things are united.

It’s pretty badass. None of us really know why we didn’t all chill before. It probably helped that our friend Tori needed a place to stay. I hadn’t talked to her since Junior year. Turns out her parents moved to Tennessee and she had been bumming around. Well she was homeless, so she’s shacking up here for a few weeks. She’s thrown me some cash, bought me food, cleaned. Nice ot have the company and a little extra help.

I’m sick of this town, and I’m almost to the point of hating my friends. I’m assuming this is what I get for caring too much and wanting to make a change. All I really would want right now is some kind of decent conversation. Fuck XBOX, Fuck television, Fuck Myspace.

By the end of the month I’m hoping to start up a small discussion group at my apartment. It sucks because there isn’t a buzzer system, but it’s at least a step. I’ll have to deal with phone calls.

I also want to set up that damn community center/infoshop. Next February, when I move out, I’m saving that money and using it towards renting a house with people. Or, if I can find friends suitable enough to deal with my ambitions, live with my parents longer and buy a house. Or shit, just find a commercial residential building. I think the third option is my best. I can live by my own rules, no roommates. It’s technically a commercial spot, not just a house.

Bah, who knows. I’m just built up and pissed

So April has been a weird month for me. My trip was amazing, and it came at perfect timing - however it didn’t last long. I got back and I was back at square one in Kenosha. For a good week I had my phone turned off and didn’t talk to anyone, I just laid in bed and kept to myself.

We’ve been picking things up, I’m just sick of the same old deal. There was no reason to even blog, everything was just the same old bullshit.

But it’s finally getting nicer out.

Well I woke up today at 5:30am for some reason, most likely because I can’t wait to leave for my vacation. I arranged all of my things, everything is ready for me to leave.

That only took half an hour, considering I’ve had it all packed since last Wednesday. So I decided to go on a morning bike ride. I also wanted to check Hoernel Lock’s hours. Before I leave for my trip I want to make a third spare for the car, just in case something really stupid happens.  And of course, there were no hours posted.

I rode down to the lighthouse that isn’t on the pier. There was a man fishing off of the lighthouse’s base. I rested my bike against the rocks, didn’t want to make noise, figured it’d piss him off if I did. Climbed up and sat on the rocks, smoked a few cigarettes. I tried to watch the sunrise but it’s pretty overcast today. It was still nice, birds were flyin’ and chirppin’, and occasionally red beams of light would poke through.

For a moment, when I was sitting there, I zoned off. The clouds began to move - or I just noticed them - and I tweaked out a little. Seemed like they were pushing down, not east. Or maybe they were lowering, we’re supposed to get rain.

It started to get lighter out, and the mist on the lake was growing, so I left. It hasn’t started to rain yet..but I wasn’t risking anything. I stopped off at Mo’s Cafe and grabbed myself a warm drink, and headed back.

I should be leaving Kenosha at 10am, unless something goes wrong…which my luck has been on the downfall for the past month and a half. I sliced my left hands index finger last night with the tomato slicer.

I just realized there are about four phone chargers in my apartment - and only one of them is the one I use. I love this apartment, people are over so often they need to leave their phone chargers. My friends help me clean, even if I’m not helping. They’ve bought me small amounts of groceries here and there.

It’s amazing.